Pretty much every speculative narrative of humanity’s First Contact goes something like this: aliens, or evidence there-of, spotted. Military, government, scientific coven, etc. declare “Must keep this ever-so-top secret. Public will go hyperactive-ape-shit. Kill all the witnesses. Especially that annoying know-it-all kid and all his pals.” Or similar. I’ve always found this… unconvincing. Sure, some humans will barricade themselves in the basement and spend their final, pathetic days eating raw macaroni. But these are the same people who are pretty damn sure Bigfoot is lurking in the shrubbery behind their gardens. And that Hillary has bodies buried in hers. Soooo many bodies.
So, as The Atlantic reports, an Arizona State prof name Michael Varnum did a study. Turns out Earth’s dominant-and-darned-proud-of-it primates aren’t all that paranoid about the subject. Large portions of the population, Varnum tells us, are fine with the discovery of alien life forms. But with this rather significant caveat: the aliens in his study are microbes. Yeah… so… I think we have what you might call a fly in the peer-reviewed-ointment here. I mean, extraterrestrial bacteria could certainly be a threat. Andromeda Strain, I’m lookin’ at you. But Varnum maybe shoulda asked his study peeps how they’d feel about those mile-long hyperspace battlecruisers parked over every major metro on the planet. I think you might get some different boxes being checked off on the “Aliens: Meet, Marry or Kill” part of the paperwork. JMHO, of course, but I’m not sold on his findings. I just really, really hope I live long enough to see for myself.